Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Miss Him So Much..

I don't know why, I am thinking of him. Yeah.. "Him". The one I call "A bestfriend.." The last time we IM-ed, he told me that he'll getting married.. Somewhere in August. Jealous? No! I am not. I do feel funny though & lil' sad. I just don't understand why people always misunderstand the meaning of BESTFRIEND - especially between a girl and a guy. Haven't they heard about "platonic relationship"..? duh~

A few years back..(around 2004), I had a good friend. A very good friend. My officemate. During lunch time, break time and even after office hours.. we always hang out together. Let us called him "A". "A" has girlfriend and I also has a boyfriend at that time (shud be my ex now). My boyfriend understands the relationship between me and "A". He doesn't mind and gives me his full of trust on me. But, the problem here is, "A" girlfriend. Does she knows everytime I hang out with "A", he is always talking about his girlfriend. Everything..!! And, I'm as his bestfriend and a good listener, I don't mind. Too bad is, they're always fighting because of me. She's been so.. so.. I mean so jealous with me. I'm never doing wrong with "A". We're just good friends. As I know, everytime they're quarrel the girl is always bringing up my matter.WTH~~ Automatically it's make me and "A" feel very disappointed and in dilemma.

Time goes by.. month by month, their relationship have become worst. But, believe it or not my friendship with "A" is getting stronger. Everytime "A" complaints about his gf, i'll just sit and keep quiet. No comment. I telling him, "If you love her, get rid of being with me. Follow whatever she says". "A" didn't agree. "A" said, if we are honest in our relationship and never do wrong, we don't have to be scared. I pray and hope his gf will understand with our situation.. one day.

A year later, aku benti keje. I know, "A" gf must be happy if she knows i'm no longer with that company. The good news is (for me), we still keep in touch through YM and handphone. We never meet. It's really hard because "A" gf always using 'Friend Finder' to find "A" located (one of facilities in M**** mobile). Jerk!!

For me, there's no point to have a relationship without trust and honest. Agree? One day, "A" called me. He said, his gf scolded him because he is still keeping my number in his handphone. Gosh!! And, might be his gf want to call me and asked why I keep on calling "A". Is that wrong? We never meet. Just call and say hi to each other. That's all. Does she know that "A" loves her very much. Never cheated on her. At the same time, I feel so pity with "A". That night, u know what happen. Jeng! Jeng! Jeng! "A's" future mother in law called me. I was nervous at that time. I was just thinking that I did not do anything wrong so, i just keep cool.
Then, I tell the truth to her mother.
"Auntie, sori lau pe yang akan saya cakap ni buat auntie terasa hati. Biar saya terus terang di sini. Saya dan "A" hanya berkawan baik. Lgpn saya ade boyfriend. Dan akan berkahwin (masa ni arr..). Sepanjang saya berkawan dengan "A", dia selalu memuji anak auntie. Malah ada niat nak berkahwin dengan anak auntie. Saya xnk cakap banyak. Cume 1. Cakap dengan anak auntie, lau nak hubungan dia dan "A" kekal sampai bila2, kena ada kepercayaan & kejujuran. Itu yang "A" pegang selama ini". (Fuh! Panjang giler aku cakap!!)

After that, I called A. I told him that I love him so much (as a friend only). So, if you love our friendship, don't call me anymore. You have a gf who loves u so much. Take care of her. (If I not mistaken, that was the last time I called him).

Skang da August. Aku pon xtau dia da kawin ke blom. Yg pasti lau dapat kad nt, aku tetap xnk pegi gak... Takut nt x pasal2 dia leh gado dgn gf dia tuh.. takut aku! (da jd bini arr ms nih)

Apa yang boleh aku lakukan dari sini berdoa agar "A" and his future wife akan kekal ke akhir hayat + akhirat. And, hope that his gf can understand WHAT FRIENDSHIP IS ALL ABOUT... WHAT IS THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP....

p/s: Baru lepas chat dengan "A" semalam. Dia dah kahwin. Dia cakap wife dia masih fobia bile dengan nama aku. Huh~
Moga korang epi ending sampai ke akhir hayat. Insya Allah.. Amiinnn..

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